This is a very short post but I really wanted to thank you Marchelle for making the CWLLM Calendar. I modified it a little so I could use it at school and now I smile verytime I open my school folder.
Thank you (and of course thank you Mraz too) for making better my first days of this new school year. What a good idea and what a good job!
Bless your cotton socks, this absolutely made my day!
Uni deadlines and sickness and last minute breakouts and heartache and birthday parties and work and work and work and I’m so over this.
do you know how scary it is to acknowledge how strong your feelings are for someone and your brain is like “maybe you love them” and you’re like SHUT THE FUCK UP BRAIN YOU DONT KNOW SHIT
I wish that we could fix this. I wish that we could fix us. Let me fix us.
I write, and I write, and I write again. But I never hit send.
Because even though I know I’m the one stopping the conversation,
I’m still absolutely terrified that you won’t want me.
It doesn’t matter how many times we don’t work, we always come back together. Last night I was entirely dazzled by the beauty of us.
I was dazzled as I looked at you and came to the realisation that this was it. This was the moment and the person I was waiting for. Do you know how absolutely breathtaking it is to come to the conclusion that you have finally met your match?
It doesn’t matter where we are in a room, my eyes will find you, and sometimes I’ll notice that your eyes are on me as well. There’s a comfort in the way I can ask you absolutely anything, any question possible and I know I can trust in your answer. And for the first time I’m an open book. It’s in the way I look at you, the way I’m drawn to touch you in any way possible.
I could probably learn something by your sober quietness, God knows I have a habit of speaking first and dealing with the consequences later, but I can’t not talk about us. I can’t not think about how many times this just hasn’t worked. Maybe the timing was never right, maybe we’re not the perfect fit I thought we were. I don’t know what it is about us, but, I don’t think there’s ever going to be a time when I can just walk away from this. Even before everything took a step forward, we still used to follow each other around. We never even noticed the way we would subconsciously mirror each other’s actions, until of course it was pointed out to me. And now I can’t get it out my head. There’s a magnetism to us that just messes with my head.
There’s something here that just cannot be ignored. And the thing that scares me most is you. Just when I think I’m in your head you do something that just challenges every assumption I have about you. I can’t pin point how you feel, I am so absolutely terrified that this is one sided. I want to wait this out, we both aren’t ready to even try and give this a shot - this is something that I will easily acknowledge - but tell me, what happens when we get to that decision point and you don’t feel the same? I can’t lose you again.
I just can’t.
Seeing all my fears confirmed with a hashtag: #RetiredAt40.
My heart seems to simultaneously swell and shatter reading about J planning on having a kid and settling down for a while.
This guy is my rock. My constant. No matter what is happening in my life, no matter how much it’s falling apart, I have had the reassurance of a man I have been getting to know for the last 6 years. There is not a day that goes by where I don’t pick up on some tiny nuance of a song or a little fleck in his voice that I never noticed before. 3 years, that’s all I have left. 3 years and 1 album. Will I even see him again? Thinking about conflicting graduation dates and concert dates stressed me out before, but, thinking I may never see him ever again if I miss him this tour? That is terrifying.
I guess in the end it’s true what they say - you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. 3 years is not a long time, but, I hope it drags on for a while.